16) BIG BALLS

16) BIG BALLS

There are several strategies for success. 

1)      Some of us are taught by our parents that if we study hard and work hard, success is assured, and additionally, never tell a lie.  Studying and working hard definitely have their benefits, if we are smart enough and patient enough to do it.  That is what the schooling process is for, and it doesn’t have to be just for children.  The lying part is that others may check up on us and it could ruin all our hard work if we were discovered to be lying.

2)      Another strategy is to somehow attach ourselves to someone else who is having success.  This one doesn’t require the same concentration and patience as the first.  A bit tricky because the person we attach to could be discovered to be a fraud and then we fall down with them.  This one requires understanding people better than the first strategy.  Oh, and lying is tolerated more in this one, but be careful.  At some point we might have to consider switching horses, which is a bit tricky, knowing who to defend or betray and when.

3)      What about accumulating power?  That’s a great strategy for success.  This depends on others with strategy 2.  We work our way up the ladder of success by convincing others that they will benefit too.  Not bad, but if we are impatient, it is likely that there will be a trail of broken promises left behind and we had better keep going fast or the stink of those betrayed will catch up to us.  Lying is almost a requirement for this one.  I call this one “Big Balls”.

I read an issue of Scientific American recently, the subject was “lying”.  First, it is a part of all consciousness, even animals sometimes deceive each other, hiding food, depending on the species.  But humans, well we become pretty adept at it, bigger “theory of mind”.  But the article also went on to say that there are 3 major reasons for lying:

1)      To protect ourselves.  We lie sometimes to avoid a failure of some kind.

2)      To enhance ourselves.  We lie sometimes to get ahead.

3)      To protect someone else.  This is important sometimes, especially with a family member.

“Theory of Mind”.  This is when we think we know what someone else is thinking.  Animals have this, but not to a very deep level.  As a crow, I know what this other crow is thinking about me, and guess what, I am higher on the hierarchical ladder, and I know that he knows it too, so move over.  But humans, it is said that we can handle up to 7 levels of theory-of-mind.  It is called “theory” of mind, because it is impossible to know what another being is thinking, but we can guess and we get better at it with experience.

There are a couple other features of the human mind that are pertinent here:  1) we listen to other ideas when they agree with our belief system and ignore other evidence, and 2) we tend to believe something if we hear it enough, regardless of its truth, 3) we compare ourselves to others constantly and love to see someone “better” than us fail, and 4) we love a superhero, love to see someone else get ahead against the odds.  We can’t help it, just the way the brain works.

But of course, believing in an untruth has its consequences.  I mean that when we believe something that goes against nature, we are taking a big chance if we should ever have to deal with reality.  Hopefully that will never happen.

So “Big Balls”.  Strategy 1.  Too slow and can only get us so far.  Strategy 2.  That’s for losers.  Strategy 3, now that’s more like it.  Pink Floyd outlines the process quite well in their “Animals” album, the “Dogs” lyrics.  “The firm handshake”, “a certain look in the eye and an easy smile”, “You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, So that when they turn their backs on you, You’ll get the chance to put the knife in.”  There’s more.  Check out the lyrics online, it’s pretty good, if quite negative.

“Big Balls”.  The point is this, if we can keep convincing others of our rightness, we can use them to rise up.  And if they get suspicious, we need to tell bigger lies, maybe make them happy by using what others are giving us.  Eventually it becomes a big Ponzi scheme and we just have to keep going, maybe we can get away with it.

“Big Balls”.  Make up stories, maybe true, maybe not.  Some of them will “get legs” and be spread around.   Focus on those, just keep repeating them.  This uses the flaws in human nature and works quite well.

“Big Balls”.  Just because he is putting out lies, doesn’t mean he needs to believe them.  In fact it is better not to believe, because when a lie gets called or peters out, it should be easy to switch to another one.  Having said that, a successful liar needs to be able to remember his past lie about a subject or he could get called on it more quickly.  So there is some skill involved.

“Big Balls”.  A master schemer understands human nature and knows that timing is important.  Often he will have to go out on a limb to keep going, and it is at those times that a significant feature of his success comes into play, “luck”.  A superhero not only has skill, he is also lucky.  In fact, a real player loves to take chances---it is exciting.  And people love a superhero who gets away with it.

“Big Balls”.  This one is cool.  It can be construed as lying strategy #3, protection of others.  Just say “You have trusted me so far and you are going to look like a big fool if you change now---it’s too late.”

“MR. BIG BALLS” to you.